Any Travel Ban Should Include Me, Too

If the Trump administration really seeks to protect this nation from terrorists, the executive order should include me, too.

I am not proud to admit it but these are just a few of the countless things I have done to terrorize millions:

I burned people at the stake.

I devised and used instruments of torture.

I engaged in the ethnic cleansing of Native Americans.

I bought and sold human beings into slavery—sold husbands into slavery away from their wives, wives into slavery away from their husbands and children into slavery away from their parents.

I persecuted the Jews for centuries and then carried out the Holocaust.

I dropped the Atomic Bomb and annihilated two cities filled with innocent men, women and children. Yes, it was war but….

I lynched African Americans and bombed their churches. I closed their schools rather than let my children go to class with them.

The electoral system that made Mr. Trump president—despite his 2.5-million-plus loss in the popular vote—continues to be based on a formula that declares African Americans to be three-fifths of a person.

So, I lied when I signed on to the words “all men are created equal.” I don’t believe that at all.

I persistently refuse to support equal rights, justice and the pursuit of happiness for anyone who doesn’t look, believe, speak, worship, and make love the same way I do.

I call myself “pro-life” but once a child is born I banish their needs—and that of their parents—from my mind. Entirely. I am, in reality, pro-birth; after the first breath, I don’t care whether they keep breathing or not.

And I call myself a Christian.

Clearly, no Muslim nation would want me within a thousand miles of its borders. I don’t blame them (and I haven’t even mentioned the Crusades).

No, I have never personally done any of those things—I abhor them all—but the crucifix around my neck condemns me because….

….Every Christian is a terrorist.

Right?